I have been spending the majority of my time lately looking back at 2018. Looking at the highs, the lows, and everything in between. It is a beautiful thing to see the growth that has accumulated within me over the past year but it is also powerful and exciting to create new goals and get ready for the next year. With that, I decided to put together a list of my top lessons learned, along with my favorites(books, music, etc.) of the year.
1) Praise the highs and the lows(fail forward)
2018 was a tough year. I faced a lot of adversity when I least expected it and I spent a lot of nights rethinking my beliefs and values. I set goals for myself and found that I was not achieving them often. I "failed" often. However, while talking to a good friend one day towards the end of the year, the phrase "fail forward" came up. We talked about how even though I may not have achieved exactly what I had wanted, I kept moving forward. Sometimes in life we have to fail forward because when we fail backwards, we become vulnerable and weak. It is okay to be sad that things didn't work out, but let that failure move you in the right direction.
2) Take care of yourself.
One of my goals for 2018 was to put others first. This is not in any sense a bad goal but my lack of specificity made me forget about the balance needed in order to be happy. Helping others feels great, don't get me wrong. However, there were many times where my own health plummeted and I felt unhappy due to the fact that I was not taking care of myself. I needed to let my love for others pour into myself as well. As cliche as it is, it is true that you need to love yourself and be kind to yourself. I imagine it like this, would you treat others the way you treat yourself? If the answer if no, it might be time to find a new appreciation for your own beauty and worth.
3) Never be afraid to be yourself or as my sister would say "FULL SEND"
I spent the majority of 2018, trying to be someone that I was not. I was afraid of being judged or disliked and I deprived myself of the things that made me happy. However, I realized that each of us gets one life, one opportunity to make the most of it. Every chance you get, could be your last. Seize the day and live in the moment. Every single one of my highlights of 2018 were times when I felt in the moment and careless to what others thought of me. All of them felt like a movie and I was on top of the world. However, I have the opportunity to make each day like that and I don't. Imagine a life where everyday was the best day of your life. However, we don't need to imagine it, we can make it happen. 99.99% of the time, you are more likely to regret not doing something rather than doing it. Just do it.
4) Things change and you can only control so much.
Many things drastically changed for me last year and my reactions were always negative. I hate change. I always have. It is hard for me to adjust to new things because I am schedule-oriented and need things to remain the same in order to function. However, I realized how selfish this was of me and how often I was not thinking about the bright side of the changes in my life. The worst part was that I didn't realize any of these things until the year ended and I saw that I wouldn't be where I am today without those changes. I put such a negative connotation with the word "change" that I never saw the importance of change and how it is a constant in our world and everyone experiences it. We can't control change so why not embrace it?
5) Healing is not linear.
We've all got wounds. Things that shake us to our core or weigh us down. However, I found that the more I tried to heal in a quick and easy way, the worse I made the process. I didn't understand why one day I could feel completely fine and the next the complete opposite. I didn't understand why things weren't getting better when I was trying so hard to fix everything. But healing will never be easily understood, it takes time and love. Love for yourself. Love from and for others. And healing is not an easy thing. A broken arm can not be healed over night so why would a broken heart or a mental health disorder? Take time to heal, don't rush and let others help you along the way. Let love in and push hate out.
Until next time,
Lo
Top 5 books of 2018:
1) You Are a Bada$$ by: Jen Sincero
2) Down and Across by: Arvin Ahmadi
3) The Secret Life of Bees by: Sue Monk Kidd
4) One of Us is Lying by: Karen M. McManus
5) The Hate U Give by: Angie Thomas
Top 5 Artists of 2018:
1) The Neighbourhood
2) Rex Orange County
3) Odesza
4) Tame Impala
5) Daniel Caesar
Top 5 songs of 2018:
1) Adult Diversion// Alvvays
2) The Weekend- Funk Wav Remix // SZA and Calvin Harris
3) Tie Me Down(with Elley Duhe)// Gryffin
4) Ground// Wallows
5) TMSN- Remix // Tipling Rock and VALNTN
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